Friday, June 20, 2008
On a break...
Oh, yeah -sorry I haven't posted in a while. Life happens. I also recently lost my grandmother. I'll post again soon.
Whatever happened to just being a regular teenage girl?
As I reread the title of this post, I'm reminded that we are living in a different time.
I heard this story on the news this morning - about the 17 pregnant Gloucester High School girls, many of whom apparently made a pact to get pregnant together so they could raise their kids together. WTF?! I couldn't even listen to the whole story because I didn't believe what I was hearing.
I have not made an effort to dig deeper into the racial or economic stats of the community, the school or the 17 girls - it doesn't matter. A pregnant teenage girl, is a pregnant teenage girl, be she Black, White, Latina, Asian, rich, middle class, poor, etc. [going into "back in the day" mode] When I was in high school 15 (or so) years ago, I couldn't even fathom getting pregnant, let alone raising a child - the thought still freaks me out. That was the farthest thing from my mind. I was too busy trying to compete with my classmates for the best grades. I was too busy trying to get through my awkwardness. No, I didn't live in an environment where teenage pregnancy was very prevalent, and, yes, I do remember a few girls who actually anticipated having kids sooner than later. But that wasn't the norm. The GHS situation sounds too close to a growing norm. It's mind-blowing! I also grew up with sex-crazy friends - but in this situation, gettin' some wasn't even the point! WTF?!
I have a 16-year-old family member who still proudly wears her purity ring (she's had it since middle school). I had never heard of it until she showed it to me, but I was touched to see proof that there are still young people who are practicing abstinence in this ultra-sexified society we live in, regardless of the environment they are growing up in. (the Jonas Brothers keep popping into my mind)
*sigh* I don't know what else to say. We have to have hope, but this feels like a loss.
D
I heard this story on the news this morning - about the 17 pregnant Gloucester High School girls, many of whom apparently made a pact to get pregnant together so they could raise their kids together. WTF?! I couldn't even listen to the whole story because I didn't believe what I was hearing.
I have not made an effort to dig deeper into the racial or economic stats of the community, the school or the 17 girls - it doesn't matter. A pregnant teenage girl, is a pregnant teenage girl, be she Black, White, Latina, Asian, rich, middle class, poor, etc. [going into "back in the day" mode] When I was in high school 15 (or so) years ago, I couldn't even fathom getting pregnant, let alone raising a child - the thought still freaks me out. That was the farthest thing from my mind. I was too busy trying to compete with my classmates for the best grades. I was too busy trying to get through my awkwardness. No, I didn't live in an environment where teenage pregnancy was very prevalent, and, yes, I do remember a few girls who actually anticipated having kids sooner than later. But that wasn't the norm. The GHS situation sounds too close to a growing norm. It's mind-blowing! I also grew up with sex-crazy friends - but in this situation, gettin' some wasn't even the point! WTF?!
I have a 16-year-old family member who still proudly wears her purity ring (she's had it since middle school). I had never heard of it until she showed it to me, but I was touched to see proof that there are still young people who are practicing abstinence in this ultra-sexified society we live in, regardless of the environment they are growing up in. (the Jonas Brothers keep popping into my mind)
*sigh* I don't know what else to say. We have to have hope, but this feels like a loss.
D
Thursday, June 5, 2008
The Life of Black Folk
I just read a post on Black Sapience's blog that was saddening. The fact that the young lady died as a result of such a sick situation was bad enough, may she rest in peace. But it made me think of the anger that resides in the hearts of the young men in the Black community. I don't know how old these guys were, and there is no justification for their actions. I don't understand how one takes another's life. I don't know how rejection can lead someone to want to literally take out their "offender". Now, I can get mad, but I can't say that I've ever been so angry, hurt or embarrassed enough to want someone else to pay with their life. Many things could have been running through their minds - maybe to just scare her or try to look hard in front of their boys - but to contemplate and engage in using a weapon to attempt to take someone's life -- that's a special situation.
For some reason, one of my brothers came to mind. No, none of my brothers have ever committed murder. And I love my brothers to death, all 4 of them. This one in particular can have a bit of a temper if you push him too far. That "too far" has always been very fragile only when it comes to him. And maybe it has only been in my relationship with him where it's been reflected. But I've witnessed him get physically aggressive (with "things", not people) after being pushed "too far". I put that in quotes because I believe that a person's response to the life that happens to them is fully reflective of the amount of self-direction and self-control they choose to portray - and not under anyone else's control. Anyway, I used to think that he could potentially get to the point where he'd get physical with another person (perhaps my extreme thinking in action) and it worried me. We don't live in the same part of the country and haven't for some years, so it's not like I've had numerous opportunities to test him and push him over the edge. But whenever we spend any time together there comes an opportunity for me to say something, anything, and witness him get upset about it. Now don't get me wrong, I don't intentionally try to push him. I personally think that the difference in the environments we now live and work in and the different experiences we've had in life are reflected in the different people we are. But I also think that certain things I say shouldn't cause him to get defensive or offensive. (Ok, now I sound like I'm living in my own little world where people never get offended by what I say - I'll admit that's not the case.)
Anyway, I'm led to think about my relationship with my brother and, further, the effects of his upbringing on how he handles stress. Our parents divorced when we were young, and my dad left the home and then began another family with a new wife. I know how it affected me and what it took for me to finally move on. But I'm me, and my brother is his own person, who, for all I know, could still be dealing with the effects of not growing up with his father in the home. That has so many implications. I'm not making excuses for him or his questionable behavior on certain occasions, but it takes me to the story we all talk about in the Black community. The story of the young boys who grow up without fathers or father-figures in their day-to-day lives, who grow into young men with serious issues and a lot of time spent dealing with things alone that a father could have helped them through. This isn't a perfect world and there are so many examples of mothers miraculously raising up strong, powerful men (like our next president, Barack Obama). And deadbeat fathers are a whole 'nother story. But I can't help but imagine how my brother's personality could have developed differently, how the life he's had to maneuver through, how much time could have been saved if things had been...different.
For some reason, one of my brothers came to mind. No, none of my brothers have ever committed murder. And I love my brothers to death, all 4 of them. This one in particular can have a bit of a temper if you push him too far. That "too far" has always been very fragile only when it comes to him. And maybe it has only been in my relationship with him where it's been reflected. But I've witnessed him get physically aggressive (with "things", not people) after being pushed "too far". I put that in quotes because I believe that a person's response to the life that happens to them is fully reflective of the amount of self-direction and self-control they choose to portray - and not under anyone else's control. Anyway, I used to think that he could potentially get to the point where he'd get physical with another person (perhaps my extreme thinking in action) and it worried me. We don't live in the same part of the country and haven't for some years, so it's not like I've had numerous opportunities to test him and push him over the edge. But whenever we spend any time together there comes an opportunity for me to say something, anything, and witness him get upset about it. Now don't get me wrong, I don't intentionally try to push him. I personally think that the difference in the environments we now live and work in and the different experiences we've had in life are reflected in the different people we are. But I also think that certain things I say shouldn't cause him to get defensive or offensive. (Ok, now I sound like I'm living in my own little world where people never get offended by what I say - I'll admit that's not the case.)
Anyway, I'm led to think about my relationship with my brother and, further, the effects of his upbringing on how he handles stress. Our parents divorced when we were young, and my dad left the home and then began another family with a new wife. I know how it affected me and what it took for me to finally move on. But I'm me, and my brother is his own person, who, for all I know, could still be dealing with the effects of not growing up with his father in the home. That has so many implications. I'm not making excuses for him or his questionable behavior on certain occasions, but it takes me to the story we all talk about in the Black community. The story of the young boys who grow up without fathers or father-figures in their day-to-day lives, who grow into young men with serious issues and a lot of time spent dealing with things alone that a father could have helped them through. This isn't a perfect world and there are so many examples of mothers miraculously raising up strong, powerful men (like our next president, Barack Obama). And deadbeat fathers are a whole 'nother story. But I can't help but imagine how my brother's personality could have developed differently, how the life he's had to maneuver through, how much time could have been saved if things had been...different.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
At the Movies
After all the media coverage and hooplah around the new Sex and the City movie coming to theaters this past weekend, a few girlfriends and I set out to see it last night. It was the highlight of my day! I was so excited when I heard nearly a year ago that they were going to make a movie! I still haven't had enough of reruns, and I get in my moods where I just want to curl up on the couch and watch my season 1-6 dvds. But when I heard there was a movie coming out, I was excited to know that the saga would continue. I didn't participate in trying to figure out what was going to happen, if Carrie & Big were getting married, if Samantha was still with Smith, if Miranda was still happily married to Steve, if Charlotte and Harry had any more kids - although the previews pretty much answered all of the general questions. I just wanted to be zapped into the fabulous, fantasy world that is Sex and the City, just one more time.
Since I didn't have any preconceived ideas of what the story was going to be about, and I tried my best not to be overloaded with other people's anticipations, I was pleasantly surprised with the movie.
Now, I'm not one of those people who was a die hard SATC fan from Season 1. I'm not afraid to admit that I didn't start watching the series until somewhere around the middle of Season 6. I was just never into it, and wasn't interested in getting into it. I was in another place in my life and, I guess, it just didn't apply. Come to think of it, I was in my last year of undergrad (engineering) when the series began, and I was in my first year of b-school when it ended - and lots happened in between. But when I did start watching, I was hooked.
I can't say that any of the women in my life fit exactly into the confines of Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, or Charlotte, but I see some of those characters in many of my friends. I see each of them in me. Because they were so real on some level must have been the reason why I have been so wrapped up in the series. But let's be clear - it is tv and it is just entertainment. But the subject matter is very relatable. Especially the Carrie/Big relationship. Ugh, the memories that brings up! :)
Anyway, I hadn't planned on giving a review of the movie, but this is what I loved and hated:
Loved: Carrie & Big were still together, happily, and were finally going to tie the knot. I'm a fan of marriage!
Loved: the humor
Loved: the fashion
Loved: Jennifer Hudson representing for the full-figured women
Hated: that bJennifer Hudson had the deer in the headlights look on her face far too much. I wasn't feeling her expression.
Hated: JH was the only person of color in the movie, not including the resort attendants in Mexico
Loved: the theme of Love
Hated: that Samantha couldn't just settle down and be with Smith. I know that some people (men & women) just can't/won't settle down in a relationship, ever, but I like it when people find that one person and work to make it. Just my preference. I was waiting for him to show up again until the credits started rolling. In my mind, they hook back up in a year or so. :)
Loved: that Samantha didn't cheat on him with the neighbor
Loved: that they showed a man's "private parts" - there needs to be equal opportunity here, if they're going to show anything at all, in any movie
Loved: when Charlotte went "poughkeepsie" in her pants. That was too funny!
Loved: the theme of friendship
Loved: how Carrie got pissed and didn't talk to Miranda for 3 days (rightfully so) but got over it like friends/family should.
Loved: when Charlotte gave Big the "face of death" and screamed "NO!!!" as they piled Carrie back into the limo - like a good, protective friend
Hated: that Big caught the stoopid bug before the wedding and realized it too late
Loved: how Big got popped with the bouquet - and it was a lovely bouquet
Hated: that Harry didn't have more to say in the movie
Hated: that Steve cheated
Loved: how Steve and Miranda finally recovered - although I was a bit surprised that the girls had the position they did on his cheating. I think it shows growth. Well, at least my view of the topic has changed a little since I got married. No, I'm not trying to say anything.
Loved that love prevailed! Loved the movie overall. Thumbs up from me!
I'm sure I've missed some things that stood out to me during the movie, but I'll be seeing it again. It was a great, feel-good movie for the girls and guys who have gotten to know the 4 ladies over the years, for those who love fashion, quick wit and a good Love story. Still a fantasy, but a great way to end the saga, and a great movie to see with good friends.
Since I didn't have any preconceived ideas of what the story was going to be about, and I tried my best not to be overloaded with other people's anticipations, I was pleasantly surprised with the movie.
Now, I'm not one of those people who was a die hard SATC fan from Season 1. I'm not afraid to admit that I didn't start watching the series until somewhere around the middle of Season 6. I was just never into it, and wasn't interested in getting into it. I was in another place in my life and, I guess, it just didn't apply. Come to think of it, I was in my last year of undergrad (engineering) when the series began, and I was in my first year of b-school when it ended - and lots happened in between. But when I did start watching, I was hooked.
I can't say that any of the women in my life fit exactly into the confines of Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, or Charlotte, but I see some of those characters in many of my friends. I see each of them in me. Because they were so real on some level must have been the reason why I have been so wrapped up in the series. But let's be clear - it is tv and it is just entertainment. But the subject matter is very relatable. Especially the Carrie/Big relationship. Ugh, the memories that brings up! :)
Anyway, I hadn't planned on giving a review of the movie, but this is what I loved and hated:
Loved: Carrie & Big were still together, happily, and were finally going to tie the knot. I'm a fan of marriage!
Loved: the humor
Loved: the fashion
Loved: Jennifer Hudson representing for the full-figured women
Hated: that bJennifer Hudson had the deer in the headlights look on her face far too much. I wasn't feeling her expression.
Hated: JH was the only person of color in the movie, not including the resort attendants in Mexico
Loved: the theme of Love
Hated: that Samantha couldn't just settle down and be with Smith. I know that some people (men & women) just can't/won't settle down in a relationship, ever, but I like it when people find that one person and work to make it. Just my preference. I was waiting for him to show up again until the credits started rolling. In my mind, they hook back up in a year or so. :)
Loved: that Samantha didn't cheat on him with the neighbor
Loved: that they showed a man's "private parts" - there needs to be equal opportunity here, if they're going to show anything at all, in any movie
Loved: when Charlotte went "poughkeepsie" in her pants. That was too funny!
Loved: the theme of friendship
Loved: how Carrie got pissed and didn't talk to Miranda for 3 days (rightfully so) but got over it like friends/family should.
Loved: when Charlotte gave Big the "face of death" and screamed "NO!!!" as they piled Carrie back into the limo - like a good, protective friend
Hated: that Big caught the stoopid bug before the wedding and realized it too late
Loved: how Big got popped with the bouquet - and it was a lovely bouquet
Hated: that Harry didn't have more to say in the movie
Hated: that Steve cheated
Loved: how Steve and Miranda finally recovered - although I was a bit surprised that the girls had the position they did on his cheating. I think it shows growth. Well, at least my view of the topic has changed a little since I got married. No, I'm not trying to say anything.
Loved that love prevailed! Loved the movie overall. Thumbs up from me!
I'm sure I've missed some things that stood out to me during the movie, but I'll be seeing it again. It was a great, feel-good movie for the girls and guys who have gotten to know the 4 ladies over the years, for those who love fashion, quick wit and a good Love story. Still a fantasy, but a great way to end the saga, and a great movie to see with good friends.
Monday, June 2, 2008
In the beginning...
...despite what they say, Adam was an Alpha and Eve an AKA... :)
After a few weeks of decisioning, I decided to start this blog. Don't know why it was such a big decision (maybe because anybody and their mama can read what I put here...). It's my outlet. Here's a little about me:
I am many things: Black, a woman, Christian, straight, married, educated, loc’d, vegetarian, complicated yet not, sensitive yet strong, open-minded (within limits), and sometimes bossy. But mostly I am just another soul on this earth trying to make it and, in some way, have a positive impact on the people who cross my path. Lived in a few places, seen and done a few things. I'm at a place in my life where change is welcome – I’m just trying to welcome it gracefully, knowing that there is a purpose for each of my experiences. I'm beginning to care less about what people say and think (well, about me at least), and my patience for limitations and negativity is quickly dissipating. My primary goal, at this point in my life, is to cut the "fat" and be happy, in so many ways. My path to this goal has been soooo eye-opening thus far...
There are many facets to me that I expect will be exposed in this outlet. I'm not one to expose for exposure's sake, but I really believe there are things about me that a select few truly can relate to - that I'm "not the only one". :) Anyway, I welcome comments and dialogue.
DeeLiteFull One
After a few weeks of decisioning, I decided to start this blog. Don't know why it was such a big decision (maybe because anybody and their mama can read what I put here...). It's my outlet. Here's a little about me:
I am many things: Black, a woman, Christian, straight, married, educated, loc’d, vegetarian, complicated yet not, sensitive yet strong, open-minded (within limits), and sometimes bossy. But mostly I am just another soul on this earth trying to make it and, in some way, have a positive impact on the people who cross my path. Lived in a few places, seen and done a few things. I'm at a place in my life where change is welcome – I’m just trying to welcome it gracefully, knowing that there is a purpose for each of my experiences. I'm beginning to care less about what people say and think (well, about me at least), and my patience for limitations and negativity is quickly dissipating. My primary goal, at this point in my life, is to cut the "fat" and be happy, in so many ways. My path to this goal has been soooo eye-opening thus far...
There are many facets to me that I expect will be exposed in this outlet. I'm not one to expose for exposure's sake, but I really believe there are things about me that a select few truly can relate to - that I'm "not the only one". :) Anyway, I welcome comments and dialogue.
DeeLiteFull One
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